PG Cooper: 100 Things Movies Taught Me

Posted: March 14, 2012 by Daniel Simpson (PG Cooper) in Commentary, Lists

So I’ve seen this posted a few blogs. Basically it’s a list of 100 movie quotes that taught me a valuable lesson. And I encourage everyone to guess on where the quotes are from. Oh, and fair warning, some quotes contain harsh language. Props to those who know where the quotes are from. Oh and don’t use Google, that’s cheating!


1. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

2. There’s nothing more pathetic then an aging hipster.

3. Only steers and queers are from Texas.

4. Most people are so ungrateful to be alive.

5. Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

6. Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

7. What is real? How do you define real? If you’re talking about what you can feel, smell, taste, and see, then real is just electrical signals interpreted by your brain.

8. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are.

9. No matter how cleverly you sneak up on a mirror, your reflection always looks you straight in the eye.

10. God has a hard-on for marines.

11. I realize now how much she is just like the others, cold and distant, many people are like that, women for sure, they’re like a union.

12. You can’t fight in here this is the war room!

13. A boy’s best friend is his mother.

14. Peace was never an option.

15. Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut.

16. That’s when you know you’ve found someone special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

17. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information.

18. A day will come when they will weep and pray for your souls.

19. Hate is baggage. Life’s too short to go around pissed off all the time. It’s just not worth it.

20. Garcon means boy.

21. When you grow up, your heart dies.

22. Empire had the better ending: Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader’s his father, and Han gets taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note, that’s what life is, it’s a series of down notes.

23. If I drive for you, you give me a time and a place. I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I’m yours no matter what. I don’t sit in while you’re running it down; I don’t carry a gun…I drive.

24. If it bleeds, we can kill it.

25. There’s no place like home.

26. Do, or do not. There is no try.

27. All roads lead to Munich.

28. Revenge is never a straight line. It’s a forest, and like a forest, it’s easy to lose your way.

29. Siamese fighting fish, fascinating creatures. Brave but of the whole stupid. Yes they’re stupid. Except for the occasional one such as we have here who lets the other two fight. While he waits. Waits until the survivor is so exhausted that he cannot defend himself, and then like SPECTRE… he strikes!

30. They mostly come out at night…mostly.

31. But there are times when you suddenly realize your closer to the end of your life than the beginning. And you wonder, you ask yourself, what the sum total of your life represents. What difference you’re being there made at any time.

32. All good things to those who wait.

33. On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

34. The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long.

35. When the chips are down, these civilized people, they’ll eat each other.

36. If you win, you win. If you lose, you still won.

37. The Chinese have a saying; Before setting off on revenge, you first dig two graves.

38. When you decide to be something, you can be it.

39. Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.

40. Some men aren’t looking for anything logical. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just wanna watch the world burn.

41. 3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgement Day. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines.

42. Y’know that ringing in your ears? That ‘eeeeeeeeee’? That’s the sound of ear cells dying, like their swan song. Once it’s gone you’ll never hear that frequency again. Enjoy it while it lasts.

43. That’s what the present is. It’s a little unsatisfying because life is a little unsatisfying.

44. Hell of a thing killing a man. Take away all he’s got, and all he’s ever gonna have.

45. It’s time to prove to your friends that you’re worth a damn. Sometimes that means dying, and sometimes that means killing a whole lot of people.

46. The more you know about who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

47. When someone asks if you’re a God, you say YES!

48. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it’s common, it’s trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night.

49. If you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. And my straw reaches across the room…I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!

50. These amps go to eleven.

51. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them, and stab them in the heart.

52. If you ever wonder where your dreams come from, look around; this is where they’re made.

53. What’s the use of looking backward? What’s the use of looking forward? Today’s the thing.

54. Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper-no pens or pencils. No staples or paper clips in his paper. Use the sliding food carrier, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it.

55. You don’t need proof when you have instinct.

56. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

57. Someday a real rain will come and wash the scum off the streets.

58. Some places are like people: some shine and some don’t.

59. There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know without purpose, we would not exist. It is purpose that created us, purpose that connects us, purpose that pulls us, that drives us; it is purpose that defines us. Purpose that binds us.

60. There are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind in the United States.

61. And no, it is not dangerous to confuse children with angels.

62. It’s a terrible thing to hate your mother.

63. You shouldn’t keep souvenirs of a killing.

64. Facts can be so misleading, where rumours, true or false, are often revealing.

65. You need to set your motherfucker to receive.

66. You see, in this world there are two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns, and those who dig.

67. You wanna be making moves on the streets, have no attachments. Allow nothing to be in your life that you can not walk out on thirty seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner.

68. There can be only one.

69. They’re coming to get you Barbara!

70. Smurfette doesn’t fuck.

71. For the plane in the fog, the mountain is unforeseeable, but then it is suddenly very real, and inevitable.

72. People shouldn’t be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

73. Sand is overrated. It’s just tiny little rocks.

74. Never tell anyone outside the family what you’re thinking again.

75. A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker.

76. When you live hard you play hard, and you burn the candle at both ends. In this life, you can lose everything you love.

77. Even in the face of armageddon, never compromise.

78. Saint Hubbins was the patron saint of quality foot wear.

79. When the chips are down, when the pressures on, every creature on the face of the Earth is interested in one thing and one thing only. Its own survival.

80. If you’re part of a crew, nobody ever tells you that they’re going to kill you, doesn’t happen that way. There weren’t any arguments or curses like in the movies. See, your murderers come with smiles, they come as your friends, the people who’ve cared for you all your life. And they always seem to come at a time that you’re at your weakest and most in need of their help.

81. Your hearts are in the right place, but your minds gotta wake up.

82. There has to be something better than man.

83. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could imagine.

84. Don’t say that you’re more sorry than I am, because I’m capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we’re both sorry.

85. A woman never goes anywhere but the hospital without packing make-up, clothes, and jewellery.

86. Some very nasty things live under rocks, especially in foreign gardens.

87. There is only one guarantee: none of us will see heaven.

88. It’s a stinking world because there’s no law and order anymore.

89. No women, no kids. That’s the rules.

90. It’s too bad she won’t live. But then again who does.

91. Revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.

92. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. Even the very wise can not see all ends.

93. The world is yours.

94. Never bet against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

95. Every living creature on Earth dies alone.

96. It rubs the lotion on its skin it does this whenever it’s told.

97. The only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased, unprejudiced, fair.

98. There’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.

99. You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein? It’ all make up and grunting!

100. You’re only as healthy as you feel.


  1. some very important life lessons. whoever said movies rot your brain was on crack! haha

    nice collection of quotes here. definitely some good classic ones!

  2. le0pard13 says:

    13. A boy’s best friend is his mother.

    Of course, this would apply for ‘The Grifters’ ;-). Fun post.

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