HT Schuyler: That’s My Boy Review

Posted: June 25, 2012 by htschuyler in HT Schuyler's Movie Reviews

Rated 18A for crude sexual content, strong language and nudity.

Directed by: Sean Anders.

Starring: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Vanilla Ice, Leighton Meester and *sigh* James Caan.

Ah, Father’s Day, the commercial holiday that demands you buy stuff for your dad to prove your love for him. What better way to spend this “holiday” than by seeing Adam Sandler’s new comedy? Actually, probably anything. Hell, take your dad to go watch paint dry, it’s cheaper and probably a lot funnier. Oh, spoiler alert: This movie sucks.

Before anyone says “Well what did you expect? It’s an Adam Sandler movie!” Let me explain why this movie had the smallest amount of hope: Andy Samberg is pretty funny in Saturday Night Live, and this is directed by Sean Anders, the director/co-writer of a hilarious sex-comedy road trip movie appropriately titled, Sex Drive. I thought maybe Samberg and Anders would be able to come up with something mildly amusing, but I was quickly smacked in the face with a stick with the word “WRONG” written on it. But at the end of the day, I don’t even blame Sean Anders, cause as far as directing goes, it’s a very good looking movie, it’s just the content. Okay, maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself, I guess I should first explain the “plot”.

The movie opens with a young teenager named Donny (Justin Weaver), who is suppose to be a young Adam Sandler but looks absolutely nothing like him. He has a crush on his math teacher (Eva Amurri Martino), and one faithful day in detention, his fantasy comes true and he gets to have sex with her, which seems awesome from a teens perspective, but is just flat out creepy in reality, because the way it’s shot and  what it leads to is just disturbing. His teacher gets pregnant and young Donny is forced to raise a child on his own. For some reason Donny then becomes a celebrity, and everyone loves him. Cut some years later, Donny (Adam Sandler) is all grown up and out of a job, luck and money. He needs to come up with $42,000 or he is going to jail. He decides to seek out the help from his rich and successful son, Todd (Andy Samberg), who he hasn’t spoken to in years and is about to get married. So Donny meets up with Todd, who resents him as a father and hates him, and from then on the movie is all about Donny acting like a complete retard, Andy Samberg acting like a dick, and a variety of characters and events all shamefully and forcefully shoved in just to stretch the run time to almost 2 hours long. Acting is…shit. I mean what can I say? Adam Sandler plays the same dumb man-child he always plays, Andy Samberg plays a stuck-up dick who is not likable or relatable in anyway, and everyone else is just sort of thrown in fill pointless roles to set gags for Adam Sandler to partake in. Thankfully Nick “Bucky Larson” Swardson has a role (I was really worried he was not going to be in this), so the audience is treated to him playing a mentally challenged creep who provides many failed attempts at humour and ultimately just makes Adam Sandler look good in comparison. Vanilla Ice plays himself in this, and honestly, he’s kind of the best part. His scenes are actually fairly amusing, and I would have liked to have seen more of him (wow that felt weird typing). Oh, and James Caan is in this. I mean what can I even say? It’s not as embarrassing as Al Pacino in Jack and Jill, but it’s still heartbreaking that he’s in this, but at least he gets to beat the shit out of Andy Samberg in one scene.

The Good:

As I mentioned before, the direction is solid, and the film at least looks pretty. Vanilla Ice has some funny moments, and ultimately the movie actually became pretty funny at towards the end. The last 15-20 minutes were actually funny, and even though it didn’t make up for the atrocious first hour and a half, it was better than nothing. The movie also has a pretty kickass soundtrack, which is upsetting because the music is great, but the visuals…suck.

The Bad:

Oh, where do I begin? Not a single character is likable or relatable, or funny for that matter (besides Vanilla Ice), and everyone is just so tedious and annoying. After the initial “teenager has a baby with teacher” plot is over, the whole movie is just a bunch of unfunny set pieces that serve no character development, plot, or humour. I shall quickly describe some of the “highlights” of the film: Donny jerks off to a picture of an old lady, then later (spoiler alert) has sex with her, Andy Samberg gets into a fight with James Caan, the “boys” go to have a bachelor party for Todd’s wedding, only for them to end up at a strip club, then having them run around pushing people over and just flat out acting like assholes, the whole while the audience sits patiently waiting for the expected humour. Almost every joke fails and falls flat, and most of them are just flat out offensive or unnecessary. The movie is almost 2 hours long, and it really only needed to be an hour and a half…actually it could have been 1 minute and it would have been too long. So, what is bad? Basically everything, that’s all I can really say.

In Conclusion:

I really don’t blame Sean Anders for this film, it’s the writing and total annoyance of the characters that make this film fail. I will admit, Adam Sandler’s movies just aren’t for me, and I acknowledge that, so if you’re the type of person who saw this trailer and thought it looked hilarious, then see it. Who am I kidding, if you watched this trailer and thought it looked hilarious then you’ve probably already seen this twice and pre-ordered the Blu-Ray combo pack on Amazon. If you enjoy this style of “comedy”, then check it out, it’s for you. For everyone else, this film is utter, offensive shit and should be avoided.

2/10

Comments
  1. CMrok93 says:

    Usually, I don’t think that comedies should have any rules as if almost anything goes, as long as it makes me laugh. Sadly, this one didn’t make me laugh it just annoyed, bothered, and even insulted me. Seriously, when has incest ever been a funny thing to point jokes at? Sandler needs to go back to Funny People-ish roles. Good review HT.

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